It's not a conscious conspiracy, but it is a cultural collusion. I believe it comes from white fear of discord. Many Anglo white women fear voices raised or profanity, many white men fear blame and shame for things that they can't do anything about. So discussion that generates opposition is either railroaded by mocking, or loudtalking - anything to end it, for we have not studied skills to talk things through.
Check out Terrence Real's new book: The New Rules for Marriage - VERY good at showing how folks can do better by talking as if the relationship mattered, not just the issues.
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Check out Terrence Real's new book: The New Rules for Marriage - VERY good at showing how folks can do better by talking as if the relationship mattered, not just the issues.