The Cosmic Tap - Latest Comments in Starving for Conversation

Re: Starving for Conversation

Passerby — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 16:21:57 -0000

I support your stance. On both articles. Perception and reality are both problems that the world, and probably most America, needs to work on.
I did, however, find a typographical error in the fifth paragraph, sixth line. It says my where it should say by. Terrible pet-peeve of mine.

I found this article via an anorexic oriented web blog who was calling for your head. As fondly as I like the creator of this web blog, she's wrong and took you out of context. In a video against you she mentioned that anorexia and obesity are completely different issues. They happen to be opposite sides of the spectrum; imagine that. So, why is she getting huffy with you when she herself just excluded her issue and passion from your own?

Fighting against obesity and anorexia are both noble fights that can, in fact, coexist peacefully.

Re: Starving for Conversation

Chris Abraham — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 19:44:55 -0000

"Does refusing junk food delicately make you healthier than just plain refusing it? I don't think so."

We are not talking here about health so much as appeal. Forcefeeding yourself like a champ at the dinner table is not attractive on men or women.

It is appealing for men to be masculine and it is appealing for women to me feminine.

N'est-ce pas?

Re: Starving for Conversation

drumgurl — Sat, 15 Apr 2006 18:09:51 -0000

I, too, wish you would have at least addressed people like me who are naturally size 1. I am proud to say I pig out all the time and *never* delicately refuse food! I actually wish I could gain a little more weight. I have gained 20 pounds since having a baby, and I'm still too skinny (in my opinion). But I look a hell of a lot better than I used to, which was flat boy butt and size 00 in juniors hanging off my bony bod.

I also didn't like the word 'delicately'. Why do we have to refuse food delicately? That's not the same as having good manners. I mean, my daddy always used good manners when he turned down food, but I don't think he ever did so delicately. That word just rubs me the wrong way. It's as if refusing junk food isn't enough. As women, we should do so *delicately*.

Does refusing junk food delicately make you healthier than just plain refusing it? I don't think so.

Re: Starving for Conversation

Anthony Citrano — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 00:14:38 -0000

Aruna,

You're right.

While I stand by everything I said, if I had known the pickup it was going to get, I might have tried to be a bit gentler. Then again, had I been gentler, I don't think it would have received the attention it did. And I'm glad to have catalyzed all that conversation.

Thank you, though - your points are well taken.

Re: Starving for Conversation

Aruna — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 07:00:08 -0000

Hi,

My apologies if you do want to be done with this issue, but reading the comments here and elsewhere it does seem like a matter of crossed wires. I don't think a lot of the comments you've got have been addressing your general argument about anorexia and Western society and overcomsumption - they're addressing something else, that's pinged them specifically from this part of your article:

So, please, ladies - the girl who has the body the rest of you wish you had is not anorexic. The girl who delicately refuses the eighteen-ounce wedge of deep-fried cheesecake the rest of you dive into after dinner is not anorexic. The girl who is obsessed with fitting back into those size 1 jeans is not anorexic. Sheâs just thinner than you, knows how to say no to herself, and it makes you jealous.

I think that sounds to a lot of women like a very familiar voice - a voice that many of us have been carrying around for most of our lives; in my case, my father's voice. The girl who has the body you/I/we wish you had is better than you. She is worth more. You? Are worth less. Worthless, even. I'm aware that isn't what you said, and probably wasn't what you intended to say - but that's what a lot of women seem to have heard. Certainly, when I read it, that's what I hear. I've heard that a lot at various times in my life and it's kind of a perpetual background thing now. Leaving aside the fact that for the sake of health losing weight is an excellent idea, and the fact that yeah, it is connected to sexual attractiveness, which isn't a myth but a fact you just have to live with - this idea that your worth as a human being and your attractiveness as a woman are inextricably linked is something a lot of us have been trying to get over for a very long time. That's what a lot of the "feminazi" blogs I've been reading seem to be addressing. I agree that they've missed your point, but I think you're missing theirs. I don't think that 'talking past each other's ears' effect is a fault of the medium in this case - it's just a failure of empathy. Which happens.

Re: Starving for Conversation

Chris Abraham — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 17:35:46 -0000

I don't recommend doing a message board. I don't recommend them because they're time sinks and they don't communicate into the blogosphere like blogs do. Maybe there can be some sort of threaded comments, but I really believe that what is there is perfect! It is linear and easy to read and there is little chance of "getting missed" so please do not fall for becoming a message board moderator/facilitator. You wull rue the day.

Re: Starving for Conversation

Chris Abraham — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 17:32:31 -0000

I am amused. Why? Well, let's say that someone decided to eat 900 calories of french fries. I am looking at you, you "potato chip vegetarians." It requires a lot of thought and a lot of discipline to make that 900 calories-a-day diet actually work nutritionally. If you follow the Kelly Ripa "I can eat all the Altoids I want" diet then you will become sick. If you hoard your calories for one-sane-meal-a-day then you will become sick. If you don't make one of your major hobbies your care and feeding and your nutricional balance then you will get sick. As a comparison, if you eat one peanut as someone who is allergic, anaphylaxis. So, a rigorous 900 calories-a-day is possible but more realistically, we need to eat lots of different things -- most of it waste and fat and garbage -- in order to, without intent and forethought, keep ourselves out of nutritional debt, out of nutritional danger.

Just because you are a vegan doesn't mean you're healthy. And just because you're a feminist doesn't mean you're right. And just because you're sick doesn't mean you can't get well. And you just because you can't become a size 1 doesn't mean you shouldn't try to become as healthy as you can, gievn your genetics, socioeconomic level, activity levels, and current health.